The Imposter

The Imposter

I recently heard the story of a writer who had successfully published her first book but was terrified by the thought of reading in front of an audience. Just before her first public appearance she texted the fabulous writer Neil Gaiman and asked for his suggestions. He wrote back a single sentence – “pretend you are good at it”.

What wonderful advice! There are so many times in the writing life that we are unsure of ourselves. We don’t know if we can handle the details of publishing and publicity and sometimes, we even wonder if we can write.

It’s called the imposter syndrome. There is something in many of us that makes us doubt whether we really can do the things we do and if we are worthy of any credit we get for our work.

Perhaps this all starts when we are young and first enthralled by books. Books are initially mysterious objects. We have no idea where they come from or who created them. Writers seem to be mystical beings who have nothing to do with the real world.

As we get older and understand the world a little better, we start to understand that writers are ordinary humans. If we look around, we may even see and meet people who have written books.

When we do realize that books are written by people, there is still a temptation to believe that these authors are not ordinary. When we read something by our favourite writer, we think that we could never do what they have done.

As we start to write ourselves, it may occur to us that we can write as well as some of the people we are reading. We may even come across a bestseller that doesn’t look much, if any better than what we can do.

That’s a good start into a writing career. Read some books that aren’t too intimidating and be inspired to put your own work forward for others to read.

But at some point, every writer will worry that even if their work does get published and sell a few books, the writing really isn’t that special. I know when I look back at my own work, I have wildly differing responses.

There are times when I read stories from Creatures of the Rock and think what I’ve written is funny and well done. There are other occasions when I can read the same story and wonder why anyone ever published it and how it is possible anyone could enjoy reading it.

This variety of responses makes it clear that I’m not to be trusted judging my own work. There is a real possibility that when I think that something I’m writing is worthless, I may be wrong. If it is true that I can’t accurately judge my own work, perhaps I should just try to believe that it’s good. Like Neil Gaiman suggests, I can pretend that I’m good at writing.

I think that approach can be helpful. If we believe we are doing well at something, we may be inspired to continue and perhaps let go of doubts that are holding us back.

Of course, there is a limit to all of this. We can have quiet confidence in our work without being delusional that everything we do is brilliant.

Self-reflection is important. We can pretend that we are good and take advantage of the benefits that come while we still understand at a deeper level that we can always be better. There only real dangers are concluding that you are no good or brilliant.