It Never Ends

It Never Ends

Like most readers, I’m a little disappointed when I finish a good book. We become friends with characters and immerse ourselves in stories and then are sad to leave. There are some especially wonderful works that leave me with another kind of distress when I finish.

Two spectacular books that come to mind are Life of Pi by Jann Martel and The Hours by Michael Cunningham. When I finished each of these, I experienced a deep sense of melancholy. Like with most great books, I was sorry to leave, but with these there was another problem. In both cases I had a belief that neither of these writers would ever write anything as good as the book I had just finished. In a strange way, I felt sorry for the authors.

This sensation must also occur to the people who write these wonderful books. I don’t think many writers finish a great book and conclude that their career is done, that this book is the culmination of their writing.

This month, my latest work, Bifocal was published. This is my fourth book and something about that number makes me feel that I’ve reached some kind of milestone. Even with three books, I wondered if that was enough to consider myself a real writer.

Of course, this is foolishness. Emily Bronte, Boris Pasternak, JD Salinger and Ralph Ellison are considered amongst the greatest writers of all time. What they have in common is that none of them wrote more than one book.

But in writing like in the rest of life, most of us are never satisfied. Good reviews and high sales will never help with the worry about the next book.

Perhaps this is much like life in general. How many of us feel that we have accomplished all we want when we retire? No doubt some people reach a point in their lives where they believe there is nothing left to do. But most of us think there are still things to be accomplished until we are flat on our backs and incapacitated.

I’m proud of Bifocal. The book is a collection of my short stories illustrated with the photographs of Kaleigh Middelkoop. Kaleigh’s photography is spectacular. When I first saw her work in a gallery seven years ago, I knew I had to do something with this artist. Kaleigh was quick to agree to a collaboration and we’ve worked on the book since then.

Seven years is a long time to work on a book. But like writers not satisfied with their life’s output, many of us are hard to convince that an inividual book is ever finished. The stories in Bifocal were edited and reworked many times and even as the final product was being assembled, I had concerns that there were stories and pictures left out that should have been included.

We can be perfectionists about our lives and individual projects but at some point, we need to say enough. It’s important to be able to look at your work and be satisfied that you have done the best you can. With a book, sometimes the conclusion is that while there may be deficiencies in what you’ve written, it is good enough and perhaps your next one will be even better.

I hope you get a chance to read the stories or Bifocal and marvel over Kaleigh’s pictures. I’m happy with the way the book came out and hope many others can enjoy it.